The Life and Times of a Washing Machine Call Centre Operative

My further adventures of working in a washing machine repairs call centre! A lady called me up to say she was in a real panic as her Bosh washing machine wasn’t working. I told her to pretend she was just dyslexic and she was really in a picnic.

Customer “I can’t hear the TV because the washing machine is really noisy” “What are you watching” I asked him? “The Mentalist” he replied. “Switch to MTV! I said “It’s definitely a lot louder”

Customer “My Service laundry machine is dancing all over the floor” “Well turn off your iPod then” I told him lg washer repair los angeles.

Customer “My machine is leaving black marks all over my clothes! An angry customer told me. “Maybe you’ve been bad” I said.

Customer “My Hotpoint won’t work” “Would you like the number of the social security office?” I replied.

Irate customer at 3.30 in the morning (which is only 9.30am for me in the Punjab) This is the 4th time I’ve rang this number and nobody ever helps me!” Me “Well, try a different number then.”

Customer. ” Can you take my number of your list please?” Me “One moment till I get the details, can I have your number please?” “xxx275xx4025” “Ok, someone will call you 4 or 5 times a week for the next month to check we have taken your number off the list”

Customer ” My washing machine has shrunk all my clothes” Me “I am really sorry about that (naked lady) can I have your postcode please?! “I’m sorry I don’t know it” she said. “Ok, If you don’t know your postcode there is no guarantee they’re really your clothes”

Customer ” I will never buy a Hotpiont washing machine again!” Me ” Well according to your credit report, you didn’t actually buy this one either”

Customer ” I demand to speak to your superior!” Me “Well do what everyone else does. Pray”

“I’m afraid that my washing machine will catch fire” “Oh, why is that?” I asked. “Because the rest of the house is on fire too”

Customer “Hello, is that the call centre?” “Yes, how can I help you?” “Can I have an early morning call please?” What he didn’t realise is that he is gonna get a very very early morning call from a withheld/unknown number every morning for the next 14 years!

Customer “My washing machine is leaking downstairs” Me “Yes that model of Zanussi is designed for bungalows and ground floor flats mainly”

Customer ” I have just told my Husband to turn on our new washing machine, but it hasn’t worked” Me “Maybe if you asked him nicely instead of just telling him!”

Customer “My new washing machine is missing a bungee cord” Me ” Try giving it a cup of horlicks and telling it a bedtime story”

Customer ” My new washing machine is very slow” Me “That isn’t very nice, we prefer to say it is educationally challenged”

Customer “I am really disappointed with this Philco washing machine, it seems to start ok, but stops at the 1st sign of trouble” Me “It’s Italian, your lucky it just stops, most of them run away”

Customer “I’m sorry I was so rude earlier” Me “That’s OK sir, when we say we monitor all calls, we mean only the calls you make to this helpline, not the last call you made to your wife!”

Customer “can you speak English?” Me “Yes, I just choose not to”

Customer ” The dog has just peed on the washing machine and now it’s blinking at me” Me “Sounds like your dog is short sighted”

Customer “I bought the same washing as Elton John, but I’m not impressed” Me “No. I agree, his best stuff was in the 70’s”

Customer “Darned washing machine is stuck on me” Me “Buy it some flowers, take it for a meal and never forget your anniversary”

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